Starting the Family College Conversation Early
July 18, 2025
As a parent, the values and expectations you set play a major role in shaping how your child sees themselves and their future. One of the most impactful areas where this influence shows up is in the conversation about college. Whether your child is in middle school or starting high school, talking about their interests and goals is important. This can help them see the options available and make smart choices.
At the same time, it’s essential to recognize that college isn’t the only path to success. Every family has different experiences and perspectives on higher education, and what matters most is open, honest, and realistic discussion.
Let’s break down what these college-focused conversations might look like during different stages of your child’s educational journey.
Talking to Your Middle Schooler About College (and Beyond)
By the time your child starts middle school, you may notice signs of who they are becoming. You will see what excites them, what challenges them, and how they think about the future. These years offer a great opportunity to gently introduce the idea of college, not as a demand or expectation, but as one of several potential paths forward.
Start by keeping the conversation casual and ongoing. Sit down as a family to discuss what preparing for college might look like, emphasizing that you’re there to support their growth—not pressure them into a single route. Talk through what roles each family member might play in the planning process, including financial considerations and academic goals.
Discuss financial realities early. Have an open conversation about what your family can realistically afford when it comes to higher education. Explore how various college choices—public vs. private, in-state vs. out-of-state—can impact the budget. Help your child connect their dreams to practical job outcomes, future earnings, and the cost of education.
Don’t count on scholarships alone. While scholarships can help reduce costs, they aren’t guaranteed. Be proactive in developing a savings strategy and researching financial aid options. Even middle schoolers can benefit from understanding that college planning is a shared journey that takes time, effort, and teamwork.
Explore alternatives. A four-year college isn’t the only route to a fulfilling and successful career. Depending on your child’s interests and learning style, talk about community colleges, technical schools, apprenticeships, the military, or other career-based programs. The goal is to help your child see that they have choices—and that those choices should reflect who they are.
Laying the Groundwork Through Activities
Building a strong college application starts well before senior year. Encourage your child to get involved early in things that align with their talents and interests. That might include:
● Sports or organized athletics
● Music, art, or drama programs
● Academic competitions or honors societies
● Volunteering or service-based clubs
● Summer camps or special interest programs
● Community college or AP-level classes (when available)
● Internships or part-time jobs
These activities not only enrich your child’s experiences but also help them grow skills that colleges and employers look for—teamwork, time management, leadership, and commitment.
Navigating College Planning with High Schoolers
As high school begins, so does a more defined path toward the future. This is a time to dig deeper into the college conversation and shift from abstract possibilities to tangible plans.
Start with fit. What kind of environment does your child thrive in? Would they do better close to home, or are they eager for independence?
Talk through factors like campus size, geographic location, and whether they want to live at home, in a dorm, or off-campus. Understanding these preferences early can help narrow down school choices.
Create a shared financial plan. Have a candid conversation about who will pay for what. Go over what you, as a parent, can contribute and what may need to be covered through financial aid, work-study, or student loans. Align your expectations so there are no surprises.
Explore financial aid options. Get familiar with both need-based and merit-based aid. Many families qualify for grants, subsidized loans, or tuition discounts.
Scholarships are available for everything from academic excellence to musical talent and leadership. Resources like Fastweb offer free information on scholarships, internships, and part-time jobs that can help bridge the cost gap.
Be mindful of student loan implications. Before agreeing to large amounts of student debt, have your child consider their future career path and earning potential. Use online calculators (like those at FinAid.org) to understand what monthly loan payments might look like and whether they’ll be manageable post-graduation.
The Bottom Line: Keep the Conversation Going
Talking about college isn’t a one-time event—it’s an ongoing discussion that evolves as your child grows. The more open and collaborative the process, the more confident and prepared your child will feel when the time comes to make decisions.
By helping your child explore their interests, understand their options, and plan realistically, you’re not just preparing them for college—you’re preparing them for life.
Sources:
https://www.fidelity.com/learning-center/life-events/family-conversations-about-college
Disclosure:
This information is an overview and should not be considered as specific guidance or recommendations for any individual or business.
This material is provided as a courtesy and for educational purposes only.
These are the views of the author, not the named Representative or Advisory Services Network, LLC, and should not be construed as investment advice. Neither the named Representative nor Advisory Services Network, LLC gives tax or legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Please consult your legal, tax or financial advisor for further information.