When It’s Time to Step In: Parent’s Financial Transitions

October 3, 2025

For nearly a decade, Daniel Harper watched his father slowly lose his independence.

“Dad used to be sharp and independent, but little by little, he started slipping,” says Harper, a small business owner in Asheville, North Carolina. His father, Leonard, battled advanced arthritis, had a pacemaker implanted after heart rhythm issues, and experienced several minor strokes. “He didn’t want to face the reality of getting older. Any time I tried to bring up his finances or future care, he’d shut the conversation down.”

 

That all changed when Leonard turned 83. Within just a few months, he fell twice, broke his hip, and then suffered a major stroke that left him hospitalized. Harper immediately stepped away from his work and moved temporarily to Leonard’s home in Tucson, Arizona, to help him manage the crisis.

 

One saving grace: years earlier, after Leonard’s wife passed away, Harper had convinced his father to add him as a joint owner on his primary bank account. That account, which held life insurance proceeds and pension income, was the only financial arrangement in place. “At the time, I thought that was enough,” Harper admits. “But I quickly realized how unprepared we really were.”

 

During Leonard’s hospital stay, Harper insisted on addressing the essentials his father had been avoiding—updating his will, designating a durable power of attorney, and signing a health care directive. “I told him, ‘We can’t keep putting this off. We need to take care of this now.’ Thankfully, his mind was still strong, even if his body wasn’t.”

 

This experience is one many families face, whether with a parent, spouse, or even themselves. The best time to prepare is before a crisis, but many wait until it’s too late. Here are seven steps to consider now, before you’re forced into making decisions under pressure.

1. Watch for the Warning Signs

Declining health and cognition often happen gradually. Ignoring them can make transitions harder later. “We shouldn’t be surprised by aging—it’s the most predictable part of life,” says Dr. Lisa Grant, a geriatric specialist at the Carolina Institute for Aging. “The key is recognizing the signs early and opening the door to financial and care discussions before a crisis hits.”

 

In Harper’s case, because he lived across the country, he hired a local care coordinator to visit his father weekly, provide updates, and eventually guide him toward assisted living. Having “eyes and ears on the ground” made a huge difference when distance was a barrier.

2. Schedule Regular Conversations

Talking about money and aging isn’t easy, but silence only makes it harder. Start early with small, regular check-ins—well before a health crisis. Many families delay until a loved one is in their 70s or until an emergency happens. But it’s better to normalize these talks when everyone is calm.

 

If your parents resist, shift the focus to concepts, not numbers. Discuss values, wishes, and where documents are kept rather than pressing for financial details. Sometimes, sharing your own planning steps—like creating your own power of attorney or health directive—can make the conversation feel less one-sided.

3. Locate and Organize Key Documents

Knowing where documents are stored is crucial. Encourage loved ones to share the location of deeds, wills, tax records, powers of attorney, and health care directives. Make a list of bank accounts, insurance policies, investment accounts, and digital logins.

 

Other details to gather: contact information for doctors, lawyers, financial planners, and income sources such as pensions or retirement accounts. “This isn’t about prying,” Grant notes. “It’s about being ready to step in if needed.”

4. Establish a Power of Attorney

Without a financial power of attorney, managing bills, assets, or even simple banking can become impossible. Harper had a lawyer draft the document so he could legally act on his father’s behalf. This allowed him to sell Leonard’s home when assisted living became necessary and ensure bills and taxes were paid.

 

A power of attorney must be signed while the person is still mentally competent. Waiting too long could force a family into costly and time-consuming guardianship proceedings.

5. Revisit the Will

Life changes—marriages, divorces, births, deaths—often make old wills outdated. Harper discovered his father’s decades-old will no longer reflected his wishes or current family situation. Redrafting ensured assets would be distributed according to his true intentions.

6. Sign a Health Care Directive

A living will or health care proxy authorizes someone to make medical decisions if a person can’t. Harper’s father designated him as proxy and signed a HIPAA release so doctors could legally share information. This proved invaluable when critical medical choices arose.

7. Safeguard Your Documents

Store important papers in a secure but accessible location. This could be with an attorney, in a fireproof home safe, or a bank safe deposit box. Make sure at least one family member knows where to find them in an emergency.

Final Thoughts

Planning for aging isn’t a single conversation or document—it’s an ongoing process. Review legal, financial, and medical arrangements every year, just as you might review insurance policies or retirement plans.

 

As Harper reflects, “I wish we’d started sooner. Having those conversations earlier would have spared both of us a lot of stress. But once we finally acted, I could focus on caring for my dad instead of scrambling to fix his finances.”

 

The lesson is clear: don’t wait for a crisis. By preparing today, you’ll protect both your loved one’s health and their financial wellbeing.

 

Sources:

 

https://www.fidelity.com/viewpoints/personal-finance/take-away-the-financial-keys

 

 

Disclosure:

This information is an overview and should not be considered as specific guidance or recommendations for any individual or business.

This material is provided as a courtesy and for educational purposes only.

These are the views of the author, not the named Representative or Advisory Services Network, LLC, and should not be construed as investment advice. Neither the named Representative nor Advisory Services Network, LLC gives tax or legal advice. All information is believed to be from reliable sources; however, we make no representation as to its completeness or accuracy. Please consult your Financial Advisor for further information.

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